Javed Akhtar: Secularism, atheism are basic values my children have inherited from me
Radhika Bhirani
rbhirani@gmail.com
"Zindagi Dhoop, Tum Ghanaa Saaya"
How beautifully did Javed Akhtar summarise, in just a few words, the sense of comfort that comes with a relationship. To me, any and every relationship.
We spoke about ageing, celebrations, staying relevant, the future and regrets. But some bits deem fit to be revisited now.
It was in 2017 that Akhtar was his usual poetic self at an Urdu literary festival in the Capital, when he got down to describing his bond with wife and actor Shabana Azmi.
"Meri aur Shabana ki dosti itni gehri hai, itni achhi hai aur itni mazboot hai ki shaadi bhi uska kuch nahi bigaad saki".
A thought so simply, but honestly put. A thought that stayed.
And so I asked him in what ways has his wife eased his journey in life, personally and professionally.
There was an instant reply.
"You see, marriage is like a stone that has been rolled from some hill. And as it has rolled down, it has gathered a lot of moss. And most of it is undesirable. The tradition, the so-called tradition, I would say, has conditioned people to think that 'this is the role of a wife', and 'that is the role of the wife', that these are their rights and these are their duties. So and so forth."
This, in his view, makes things "messy" and "unfair" -- as they especially were at a time when women were extremely subjugated in the society.
But even now, Akhtar pointed out, "This institution of marriage is very reluctant to give as much space to women as they deserve. An iota of fairness will say that, 'Yes, they have to have their space'."
The wizard of words believes the term marriage itself has become "polluted" in its meaning and implications.
Akhtar married Azmi 35 years ago, after separating from his first wife Honey Irani, with whom he has his two children - son Farhan and daughter Zoya. And so many years thence, they have not forgotten to keep the humour between them alive.
If you've been a social media stalker for all that's Bollywood, in the lockdown, you wouldn't have missed Azmi's recitation of Akhtar's comical take on Abhi na jao chhodkar. Their little fun 'nok-jhok' during Instagram lives, et al, also got fans and gossip spaces to swoon over their camaraderie.
For Akhtar, the key to successful and happy relationships -- be it friends, siblings, married couples or even live-in partners -- lies in respecting, loving and taking care of each other. But most of all, it's a result of "Accepting that however close a person maybe, everyone has the right to privacy, right to certain private space, right to dream and right to have ambitions as much as you do. And the other person cannot also agree with you all the time."
Embracing these "basic realities" can go a long way, he said as a wise relationship advice, of course in his inimitable style.
"Accept that you are not a star and the other person is not a planet or satellite, and life will become easier," Akhtar said, asserting that relationships that hinge on friendship, can really survive the test of time as it is "one institution for which the society has not been able to decide the status quo for".
That is, in fact, also the kind of bond he shares with his children, both of whom are distinctly different, but important voices in Hindi cinema today.
When the Bollywood grapevine was abuzz with murmurs on Farhan's wedding to Shibani Dandekar, Akhtar had once again expressed his belief in allowing people the right to privacy.
"Once your children grow up, they're adults, and you cannot treat them like children. You have to respect them, their privacy and personal affairs, the way you would for any adult. I don't think parents have a right to poke their nose in everything, particularly after a certain age," he said to me, rebuking my nosy mind.
But what he seemed happy to answer was whether he sees a reflection of his own creative self in his children in one way or another.
"You see," he said, heaving a sigh, "I come from a family of writers."
His grandfather Muztar Khairabadi was a very popular poet and writer of his times, as was his father Jan Nisar Akhtar. The creativity followed with Akhtar, and continues with his children.
But style is what keeps them apart.
The tradition, Akhtar, laughingly shared, is "to not follow the tradition".
"What happens is that generally, when children from film families make films, at least their first project is some kind of an echo of what their parents have done. But when you look at Farhan's first film (the refreshing ode to friendship, Dil Chahta Hai, in 2001), it had nothing to do with the kind of films that I have written," added Akhtar, who made one half of the indomitable Salim-Javed duo that gave Bollywood some of its most iconic films.
What makes him especially proud, looking at the trajectory of his kids' career, is how they have been "voices in themselves". If Farhan wears many hats -- as a writer, actor, filmmaker, singer and more, Zoya has built her reputation as a director who likes to surprise the audience and critics with her range.
But upon deliberating a bit, Akhtar could point the "only" things that his children have "inherited" from him.
"Those are some basic values like secularism, atheism, aversion against superstitions... These are the things that all of us are on one page, in our family. Otherwise, as far as the creativity is concerned, I think they have their own understanding and approach, and I don't see my influence on them."
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