Little Things on Dilip Kumar: Garma Garam Khaana, but no Garam Kapda

Radhika Bhirani
rbhirani@gmail.com

~~~ "Allah Miya Umar Daraz Kare". "Allah Hifazat Se Rakhe". These are Saira Bano's everyday prayers for Muhammed Yusuf Khan, her ailing husband, Indian cinema's 'Kohinoor', 'Tragedy King' Dilip Kumar, who has turned 98 today. 

For years, Dilip Kumar's birthday was never about lavish celebrations. It meant an open door to their house. Friends, family members, and even fans would come impromptu, with flowers, garlands and tokens of love. The whole house would be lit up. It But ever since his health went downhill, with his restricted movement and diet, restrictions on any other engagements have been inevitable.

This year, he has not been keeping too well. Saira-ji is herself not well. The family is going through a tough time. They lost Dilip Kumar's two brothers to the dreaded Covid-19. There's no question of celebrations. "We will simply thank the Lord for the gift of life and health," Saira-ji has said to Mid-Day interview. And we can only say Amen to that, for them and for ourselves, in what 2020 has really been.

My mind rewinds to a conversation with Saira-ji ahead of this day last year. She spoke freely about what she calls is her favourite topic: her "Dilip Saab". About his simple living, about his "childlike" personality, about his love for piping hot food, his kitchen experiments, his sleep issues, love for Mehdi Hassan and Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan's music, and more.

"It has been over 50 years of togetherness now. We have grown up together. I was in my early 20s, and he was in early 40s when we got together. We have spent a lifetime together, and it has been so rich, invigorating and wonderful. He has been such an understanding husband. Usually, people say 'Oh, there is such an age gap'. But to be honest, we never felt that age gap because Dilip Saab has never had a childish mind. But he has been a childlike person who finds a lot of happiness and light heartedness in everyday living. He has never been a heavy-going guy or a difficult man to please. He is very simple. Simple in what he eats... Bas garma garam khaana, and that has always been so," Saira-ji shared.

Music, Saira-ji said, works very well with him. "He loves good, classical music. And he is very fond of ghazals and good poetry. He just has to be in the right mood for it, and music is what gears him up  relaxation."

For someone who has been what Saira-ji calls a "nightbird" because he used to either read or write into the wee hours of the morning in his heydays, now he sleeps a lot now. The medication is to blame. On a lighter note, Saira-ji said, "He always suffered insomnia, and then when he got married to me, it became  much better. So much so that he would say, 'You're my sleeping pill'!"

Once a popular Hindi cinema actor herself, Saira-ji decided to devote her life to taking care of her home and husband a long time ago. "My support is the least that I can do. I love him immensely," said the 76-year-old, also quipping how she's the "main nurse" in the house which has a "medical kind of atmosphere" to keep Dilip Saab away from infections.

In 2018, he was terribly unwell due to recurring pneumonia. It led to multiple hospital visits. Of course now his illness is age-related, but Saira-ji said, "He has always been prone to pneumonia. Even when he was a young man, and when we travelled to Kashmir, Shimla or to any hill stations, he never used to wear warm clothes, and catch a chill. I don't know why, but Peshawaris and Pathans, I think, hate wearing woollens somehow! They are probably used to a cooler climate, although Dilip saab had shifted to Deolali (Nashik) when he was a young boy. It was a cool place, and they were not used to wearing too many woollens."

She went on, "Saab hamesha tab kehte thhe ki hum log ke itne baal hote hain, seene pe aur arms pe, toh humaara warm clothing is natural. We need not wear something warm (laughs). He never used to like wearing vests, sweaters and cardigans when he was young."

Warmth has been intrinsic to Dilip Saab's life and career. The industry vouches for it. As does his wife.

"With Dilip saab, we could have a cricket team visiting us at 2'o'clock in the morning. And with his hospitality, nobody would ever go without eating," she recounted, adding how with time, the house staff learnt to keep a huge fridge loaded with stuff. Things have changed and tapered down with the years -- a lot -- but these memories continue to make Saira-ji smile.

"He would insist people ki kuch khaane ke liye aa raha hai, Toh Saab ne idhar bola and we used to run saying, 'Aa raha hai khaana'," she shared with a giggle, even as she remembered how the vegetables used to be added to the kadai only when his car would arrive at the gate, so he could get his garma garam khaana the way he would like it.

"He concocted interesting light soups along with my late mother. For instance, Bhindi Chicken Soup... It sounds weird, but is delicious. We have spent hours concocting menus to his liking, with his inputs," Saira-ji said.

It's interesting to know, in fact, that apart from how dedicated and hardworking he was when he was on sets, he would take an equal amount of interest at home. "It may be cooking, cushions, or anything else," said Saira-ji, and added how life was like a picnic at home when their nephews, nieces, staff members, would team up for football, cricket and badminton matches.

                                                             

A lot of industry people used to come visiting too.

"In recent times, there has been so much in and out of illnesses, that we have sort of warded off people completely. Otherwise everyone wants to come and meet. They are so good. Our industry people are so caring and so concerned. They have so much respect for him. For his 89th birthday, the whole industry was under one roof," she said with pride, mentioning Shah Rukh Khan, who has always maintained that Dilip Saab has loved him like his own, Amitabh Bachchan, Aamir Khan, Salim Khan and Salman Khan as the top few names that came to her mind among those who keep checking on the nonagenarian's health off and on.

"If you ask Salman, 'Who's the biggest Khan out of all of you', he will always say Yousuf Khan! He's so sweet," Saira-ji said, wrapping up her thoughts by saying, "He has earned a whole lot of respect in his lifetime, and may God keep it that way forever, Inshallah."

Inshallah.